Over the past few months of my world, life has been hard. Really hard.
I've seen friends and acquaintances go through some of the most painful losses of family members and my heart broke for them all. Then suddenly, in December, our family suffered our own painful loss. My dear brother in law, Ron, passed away unexpectedly. Then our hearts were broken. We are all still reeling from the suddenness of it all..
Time.
Things take time.
You can't rush through grief. Grief takes time. Grief takes work.
Yes, work. ....and that's what I've been reflecting on today.
Work is what our family is good at....I think some of our friends even believe we live for work and projects. We don't really, but as a family, it is part of who we are, no denying it.
Christmas, birthdays, football games, holidays ..... all events where we will miss Ron, but I think we will miss him most when we start our next project. You see, when we work together we have the best time. I know that sounds crazy, even unbelievable, but we do! Here's an example.
Several years ago, we were working on replacing the siding on our two story house. Now most of my neighbors would hire a crew for that sort of job. But not us, not with three able bodied sons, my husband and Ron. We had the best crew available! Cheap too! All I had to do was feed them! Well, that isn't exactly all I had to do....my sister and I were always eager to supervise and critique. Imagine scaffolding towering along side the house, in 3 huge sections,each stacked on top of one another. It must have been at least 30 ft. tall. Or it seemed that tall to me as I watched my sons dangle from the top. One son on the top tier, another son or two in the middle and Ron anchoring the bottom tier. All nailing away. My husband? Where was he? He was the designated cutter. The guy who stayed on the ground. This crew of guys, laughed, ridiculed,encouraged and sometimes growled at each other through the whole process. We had music playing, we even had our daughter in laws working....sort of an initiation into the family, as we worked away. They did a great job! We were all so proud of our work!
A week or so after the project was complete, with no accidents that required medical attention by the way, our neighbor stopped my husband to comment on our work. Actually, he never talked about how great the new siding looked, or what a great paint choice we made for our curb appeal. That didn't seem to impress him at all. What caught his attention, and what he just had to talk to my husband about was our working together. He commented about how much fun it was watching our family work. How he enjoyed the laughter. How it caused him to miss his brother.So, he did something he had not done in a long while.
He called his brother. He made plans to get together soon. All because of our "work".
I wonder if maybe that is what the quote most associated with St. Francis of Assisi meant,....?
"Preach the Gospel always and when necessary use words".
I'm sure it would qualify.
Here's a picture of Ron, and one of my grandsons... learning the family way! Pops is making sure it is level!
Time.
So, take the time. However long you need, to work through the situations in your life. Do the work that leads to restoration, hope and joy.
Just remember, ....things take time.
Blessings,
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